The Missing Peice In The Middle

There was a time in my life when I thought one was enough. Where I thought I could never love another. Where I was terrified if another came along that there wouldnt be enough of me to go around. That if I had another one that there is no way I could not compare your every move, glance, look, milestone to his. On January 8, 2002 that all changed. I saw your face, heard your cries and I knew I would love you just as much as your brother. I would care for you as much as I did the first. You being the complete opposite of your brother made sure I never compared the two of you in a bad way.

 When the thoughts of number three rolled around in my head and in my heart I wondered how you would feel. Your brother was older, he would understand, he knew that babies didnt replace the love between any of us, a baby would not mean that he would be pushed to the side. Would you understand the same? Could you know that I love you just as much, would you know that I was not replacing you? That you forever would hold a special place in my heart, each of you hold a special place in my heart? Would you not feel like you were stuck in the middle, neither youngest nor oldest. Neither Big Brother, or Baby Brother.Once again you proved my thoughts of you to be wrong. Maybe I never do give you enough credit, possibly because you were MY baby for so very long.

 You took on the role of middle brother as amazingly as any other role you take on. You are strong willed, determined and the most loving brother I could have ever asked for. You have grown up a lot this year. You ventured into playing new sports, going to work with your dad and being a bigger helper than any of us imagined. You help me more around the house, and take on more responsibilities. Yes, you are still stubborn, strong willed, determined, but Ethan you have the heart of a million little boys. You care deeply, love strongly. You are in the middle for a reason, you will hold the three of you together always.

Your wit, your absolute raw humor, your giggling laughter still to this day, to your 2,920th day of life, makes not only my face, but my heart as well, smile the greatest of all smiles. The smile of a mother towards or for their child is irreplaceable, and you keep putting that smile on my face day after day! You can still play for hours alone, entertaining yourself. We all still wonder what new insect or amphibian will show up in your hands or pockets. you still scare us when you do something dangerous, because you are still  "Ethan" so nothing scares you, nothing inhibits your need for that rush, that excitement you thrive on.You still get glued to the T.V. if I'm not careful. But I can see a change in you, you my baby, are growing up. Your becoming more of a kid, a big boy than a baby. It makes me sad and happy all at the same time.

Happy 8th Birthday Ethan. Thank you for coming into my life. For filling that puzzle piece that was missing. Thank you for loving me as much as I love you, for calming every fear I ever had about number two, and even number three. Thank you for still calling me mommy when I feel the need you once had for me, slipping away. Thank you for being the glue, the funny one, the daredevil. Thank you for being the dangerous combination of your father and myself, for you are the only one that could ever carry such a role.

Forever and Always I Love You,
mommy.