I never imagined having a child so young. I can’t imagine not having you so young. My first born, my oldest son. Twelve years ago I lay in a hospital bed and I worked. I worked so very hard for you. It took 36 hours to bring you into this world. Your entire family waited into the wee hours of the night to meet you. Absolutely awesome. Awe struck. Amazed. All things I thought as I looked at your precious face. I could not believe your dad and I created something so beautiful.
I tell teenagers to be careful, don’t get pregnant. Don’t have a kid so early. Not because I regret a second of your life, but because I wish I was able to give you more. Frankly, you were such an easy baby, you spoiled me. You slept at 4 weeks through the night. You laughed and giggled and it’s like you knew me. We knew each other. You taught me a lot about myself, and if you’d ask him, you taught your dad a lot as well.
You have always been more mature than other kids your age, probably because we treated you that way. I hope that we didn’t make you grow up too fast. I want you to cherish your childhood, like I cherish you. You are so strong willed and absolutely hilarious. Unfortunately I think you inherited a mixture of mine and your dads temper, creating a lethal combination. You carry your feelings on your shoulder, and I see so much of myself in you at that age. You cry when angry. As do I.
You are your dads son though. Best friends. Closer than any father and son I know. So very much alike as well. You are a superb baseball player, an excellent athlete in general. You have the drive and desire of a college kid, it amazes me at times. You work hard for what you want in life. To be a part of North Carolina
You taught us how to be parents. Imperfect parents, yet, parents. You taught me that I could love unconditionally. That sometimes I have to be hard on my children, not because I want to, but because I love you. I want what is best for you and your brothers. That’s all I ever wanted. For you to be happy, loved, taken care of. You taught me to choose my battles. I learned that I had fears that were greater than anyone except a mother could ever possibly understand.
Your dad and I talk in the still of night how life will be when you go away to school. I really don’t know what we will do when you leave us. We talk about how we want you to spread your wings, to be the best person you can be. To get out of this town and make something of yourself. To be the best in whatever you choose to do, if that’s baseball or anything else under the sun. We talk about how sad we will be. How a piece of our hearts will be leaving us. We kid that we will move and follow you. We talk about the absolute joy and excitement we will feel for you, with you.
You hold a very special place in my heart. Each of my boys holds something different. Each of you are special to me in your own ways. You will forever be my baby boy. You changed my life. You changed it for the better. I love you dearly, always. No matter how hard we butt heads. How much you disagree with me. How much I yell or scream or fight against you to do the right thing, I love you deeply.
To be perfectly honest there were people who doubted my ability to be your mom. A doctor told me I shouldn’t have you. Adults questioned if I could care for you. Im pretty damn sure we proved them all wrong. You are such an amazing kid. A young man. We get compliments on your manners, even if you don’t always use them at home, I am proud that you at least use them in the presence of others. You make good grades, you have a soft heart, you’re a good friend. I really could not ask for a better kid and I hope I had a hand in how you turned out.
As we enter the teen years, there will be many, many fights. We will argue and disagree. You will test my patience and I will test your will. There will be tears shed and we will laugh hysterically. We will need to be separated from one another. We will need to be in each others arms. I will need you and you will need me. There will be times where you wont need me at all. We will take a ride in silence. You will say you hate me. I will worry too much about you, for you. These things are inevitable. As is my love for you through it all.
As tough as those times may sound, I look forward to every minute of it. I want to watch you grow and mature into a handsome, successful adult. I want to cherish every single moment I have with you. I am so very grateful for the 12 years I have had with you. Learning new things, watching you grow, progress, and become the young man you are today. I have cherished all 4,380 days of your life and Look forward to many, many more. Happy Birthday To My Forever Baby Boy.
0 comments:
Post a Comment